In the last Roswell New Mexico episode that I watched, one of the character stated that:
“There are moments that define us and others that divide us”.
The moments that define us
In the episode, it’s explained as some major milestones propel you in your initial direction. These are moments that define us. They help us better understand who we are, what we want and how we are going to continue to move toward our goals. For many these could be events like graduations, getting married, having children.
The moments that divide us
On the other hand, there are moments that divide us. They went on explaining how when these moments occur, a new person emerges that is different from the person before, now on a different path… These would normally be seen as major failures like losing a job, getting a divorce, grieving loved ones. They are often obstacles
My aromantic perspective
I would argue that what is seen as defining moments in life are often intricately weaved into amatonormativity and matrimania. Many people define their lives with finding a romantic partner. As an aromantic, these are moments that mean nothing to me. I so cannot relate on any level. On top of that, when others go through these moments, that creates a huge divide between us and between the person they were once. As they continue to progress through life and go through defining moments, I can relate with them less and less. Their defining moments are really dividing moments in the context of our friendship.
How do you reconciliate that? The more my friends get closer to their goals and the happier they are, the more lonely and isolated I feel, the more our friendship is fading away.