Am I that Different from an Addict Looking for his Next Fix?

More and more my life is marked by how people choose to make time for me in their lives (or not). I crave meaningful relationships and I chase them relentlessly. I go through ups and downs. An up could be the opportunity to hug a friend for more than a few seconds and a down could be to realize that people I care about deeply are not willing to make time to see me.

What keeps me going are these (often) distant memories of times where I felt like I mattered to other people. Most of these memories date back to a time before most of the people my age were utterly consumed by the idea of being in a romantic relationship at all cost (teenage years). That being said, I have a few more recent memories that I try to hold on to (in the last 5 years). My inability to create new ones creates immense stress in my life on a daily basis.

All I can think about is the fact that I don’t have meaningful relationships and that I need them in order to function.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s